Big Fat *insert family name here* weddings
Nov. 9th, 2002 11:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
orangerfulWell, Manders went to a wedding and Paul and I went and watched a movie about a wedding. Well the film was more about the pre-wedding stuff. If you haven't seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" do yourself a favor and go. It is clever, funny, and very real. I dunno how else to describe it. It's up there with "Moonstruck" when it comes to dealing with family and relationships. And I think it works for men and women on the humor level. It's not a girly movie. I think that's why i liked it.
Let me talk about this movie for a minute, because I really enjoyed it and feel it deserves even more praise. I grew up watching movies and television that pretty much makes marriage and weddings seem to be the worst idea ever. In most movies you watch, the marriage a negative thing for one of the parties. How many times have we heard the gag about "no sex after the first year of marriage"? It's like part of our pop culture (wasnt it the whole basis of married with children?")
I was discussing with Paul the other night how marriages are never the "cool" part of a TV show. Either characters are always single and promiscious, or the show "jumps the shark" and has a wedding that of course, causes way more stress than anything in the world. Usually the male cast members hate the whole idea (then dumbass why did you ask her to marry you???) and the females become dumber than dumb obsessing over everything and you want to hit them....HARD. So to me, because I live vicariously thru TV (the only wedding i had attended up until last year was my Aunt's when I was 2 years old) my image of "the wedding" was something horrible, something that always had tears and anger and you shouldn't go thru with it because afterwards you were married.
Can we talk about marriage on TV? No, cuz no one is! Or if they are, they become the most annoying people ever. Okay, I used to watch "friends" I admit it. Back in the day when they were.....well....friends! Monica was always annoying with her nitpicking and Chandler was always a bit of a dumbass. But after listening (I was trying to fall asleep but the show annoyed me so much I couldn't) I realized that after getting married they both seemed to have lost their minds. Suddenly, Monica is baby obsessed, to the point that I was beginning to think that she only married Chandler to have a baby in wedlock (you know, to be different from most TV couples). She was a hag. Nagging and nagging. If that is what happens when you get married, than count me OUT.
What other shows can we look at? Turn on your TV and look at the couples you see. 9 times out of 10, the woman is stuck at home. BORING! Again, I was bombarded with these images growing up (not to mention my mom stayed home for my childhood) so to me, marriage meant being trapped at home. Not my idea of fun. Nine times out of ten, it usually meant kids too, which I think is pretty much the best way to ruin a marriage but that's just me. I haven't been exposed to a lot of happily married couples so I'm not sure what the hell was going on. Kids are usually cute for one season, but by season two, they become a problem because they have to be in every episode. You can't write them out! I prefer dogs. kennels are cheap.
ANYWAY! I just wanted to say that watching "Big Fat Greek Wedding" really made weddings and marriage look good. This movie just played out nicely. She was a normal looking girl. She met a normal looking guy. Her family complained a bit about her not marrying a greek boy. the wedding happens as her family wants it. bada-bing.
AD told me weddings are not for you, they are for your family. Paul said today that they are very much like funerals (we are taking a death and dying class together) in the sense that, it's a ritual that helps your family let go. I think that's true. These girls obsess over weddings and stuff. But really, it's this thing so your parents will let go (even though they don't) or at least loosen their grip. I figure that is probably how it is. When we had to write out our living wills, I really had nothing to put down because what I would want at a funeral is not what my parents would want. My mom would probably want a nice catholic funeral service. Me? I just want you to turn me to ash and toss me out and move on. Same with weddings I guess. My mom would probably want a catholic wedding or something nutty like that. me? "Do you?" "yeah" "do you?" "yeah" "fine. you're married, kiss 'er". And of course, a great after party, cuz all I really want is an excuse to dance. :-)
I'm still not sure about how I feel about marriage in general. I mean, it seems kind of outdated. We're still a very male oriented culture and I think there's a part of marriage that applies to that which bugs me. Like the whole last name thing. Screw that. How ancient is that? I would never want to give up my last name. It's mine! It's part of who I am. And like, I feel like there needs to be a better way of describing marriage. I still feel like it's that whole "the girl is mine" vibe versus a mutual respect and love. I dunno. ARGH. "Marriage" has this whole vibe about it that scares me. That maybe I did marry for the right reasons but everyone will just assume I gave up looking and settled. Or that I was just another girlie girl obsessed with getting married and making babies and not that i felt a bond with the other person.
I'm sure these are logical fears. They must be. This fear of being judged is everywhere. Maybe if I ever get married I'll just make a banner that says "doing this because I want to and not because I felt forced and I will still have a life outside of this and stop judging me damnit!"
Nah, I think I'll just live in sin. That sounds way more fun.
My brain hurts. I don't feel like reading this over but I'm sure I sound insane. I am. Face it. I've been stuck on level 23 of snood for a week now. How messed up is that? And who the hell is Broe? And why the snood isn't this semester over?
can I get an "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!" ?
Let me talk about this movie for a minute, because I really enjoyed it and feel it deserves even more praise. I grew up watching movies and television that pretty much makes marriage and weddings seem to be the worst idea ever. In most movies you watch, the marriage a negative thing for one of the parties. How many times have we heard the gag about "no sex after the first year of marriage"? It's like part of our pop culture (wasnt it the whole basis of married with children?")
I was discussing with Paul the other night how marriages are never the "cool" part of a TV show. Either characters are always single and promiscious, or the show "jumps the shark" and has a wedding that of course, causes way more stress than anything in the world. Usually the male cast members hate the whole idea (then dumbass why did you ask her to marry you???) and the females become dumber than dumb obsessing over everything and you want to hit them....HARD. So to me, because I live vicariously thru TV (the only wedding i had attended up until last year was my Aunt's when I was 2 years old) my image of "the wedding" was something horrible, something that always had tears and anger and you shouldn't go thru with it because afterwards you were married.
Can we talk about marriage on TV? No, cuz no one is! Or if they are, they become the most annoying people ever. Okay, I used to watch "friends" I admit it. Back in the day when they were.....well....friends! Monica was always annoying with her nitpicking and Chandler was always a bit of a dumbass. But after listening (I was trying to fall asleep but the show annoyed me so much I couldn't) I realized that after getting married they both seemed to have lost their minds. Suddenly, Monica is baby obsessed, to the point that I was beginning to think that she only married Chandler to have a baby in wedlock (you know, to be different from most TV couples). She was a hag. Nagging and nagging. If that is what happens when you get married, than count me OUT.
What other shows can we look at? Turn on your TV and look at the couples you see. 9 times out of 10, the woman is stuck at home. BORING! Again, I was bombarded with these images growing up (not to mention my mom stayed home for my childhood) so to me, marriage meant being trapped at home. Not my idea of fun. Nine times out of ten, it usually meant kids too, which I think is pretty much the best way to ruin a marriage but that's just me. I haven't been exposed to a lot of happily married couples so I'm not sure what the hell was going on. Kids are usually cute for one season, but by season two, they become a problem because they have to be in every episode. You can't write them out! I prefer dogs. kennels are cheap.
ANYWAY! I just wanted to say that watching "Big Fat Greek Wedding" really made weddings and marriage look good. This movie just played out nicely. She was a normal looking girl. She met a normal looking guy. Her family complained a bit about her not marrying a greek boy. the wedding happens as her family wants it. bada-bing.
AD told me weddings are not for you, they are for your family. Paul said today that they are very much like funerals (we are taking a death and dying class together) in the sense that, it's a ritual that helps your family let go. I think that's true. These girls obsess over weddings and stuff. But really, it's this thing so your parents will let go (even though they don't) or at least loosen their grip. I figure that is probably how it is. When we had to write out our living wills, I really had nothing to put down because what I would want at a funeral is not what my parents would want. My mom would probably want a nice catholic funeral service. Me? I just want you to turn me to ash and toss me out and move on. Same with weddings I guess. My mom would probably want a catholic wedding or something nutty like that. me? "Do you?" "yeah" "do you?" "yeah" "fine. you're married, kiss 'er". And of course, a great after party, cuz all I really want is an excuse to dance. :-)
I'm still not sure about how I feel about marriage in general. I mean, it seems kind of outdated. We're still a very male oriented culture and I think there's a part of marriage that applies to that which bugs me. Like the whole last name thing. Screw that. How ancient is that? I would never want to give up my last name. It's mine! It's part of who I am. And like, I feel like there needs to be a better way of describing marriage. I still feel like it's that whole "the girl is mine" vibe versus a mutual respect and love. I dunno. ARGH. "Marriage" has this whole vibe about it that scares me. That maybe I did marry for the right reasons but everyone will just assume I gave up looking and settled. Or that I was just another girlie girl obsessed with getting married and making babies and not that i felt a bond with the other person.
I'm sure these are logical fears. They must be. This fear of being judged is everywhere. Maybe if I ever get married I'll just make a banner that says "doing this because I want to and not because I felt forced and I will still have a life outside of this and stop judging me damnit!"
Nah, I think I'll just live in sin. That sounds way more fun.
My brain hurts. I don't feel like reading this over but I'm sure I sound insane. I am. Face it. I've been stuck on level 23 of snood for a week now. How messed up is that? And who the hell is Broe? And why the snood isn't this semester over?
can I get an "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!" ?
