I'm a slayer, ask me how.

I'll just tell you now, I've been a Dave Barry fan for a long time.  As a kid, I used to read his column in the Sunday paper.  I would check out his books from the library and I also listened to a few as audiobooks during the Summer of Tetris (you get one guess what I did most of that summer). 

I'll Mature When I'm Dead is classic Dave Barry.  And by "classic" I mean 12 year old boy humor at it's best.  Essays range from why men are dufuses to pet ownership to the downfall of printed newspapers.  It also contains a reprint of Barry's article on getting a colonoscopy, which apparently got a lot more responses than he expected.  The weakest essay was a 'Twilight' spoof, since that has already been done to death (and you can't beat 's version, so don't bother trying). 

So, if you need a summer beach read that will make you channel your 12-year old self, pick up a copy. Just don't try to read it in bed or your significant other might give you dirty looks for giggling so much!

When you think of the 1920s (like ya do), some things that might come to mind are those images from Great Gatsby - the Jazz Age flappers partying, drinking cocktails even though Prohibition has made alcohol illegal.  After reading 'The Poisoner's Handbook', you'll associate something else with that turbulent decade: forensics.

In this highly detailed book, Deborah Blum attempts to track the birth and acceptance of the fields of forensics, toxicology, and all those things that make CSI shows possible today.  In New York City, the medical examiner Charles Norris [insert Chuck Norris joke here] and his team turned chemistry into a weapon in the courtroom. 

In each section of the book, Blum describes the discovery of certain elements, the chemistry that makes them deadly, and murder trials that followed.  It's a great mix of true science and true crime.  While the chemistry and lab tests can get a bit tedious at time, especially for the layperson like myself, they are easy enough to skim and get back into the action. 

I definitely recommend this title to someone, especially if you enjoy high quality true crime with a bit of history tossed in.  I learned a LOT (and felt like writing a letter to the FDA about how much I appreciate their work now...who would have thought putting radium in drinking water would have been a good idea?)

4.5 outta 5

Batman is dead? I didn’t even know he was sick!

...read my full review on Geeks of Doom!

Do you like Sam Rockwell?  I mean REALLY like Sam Rockwell?  Because if you don't, you probably won't like 'Moon' because Sam is it (well, Sam and Kevin Spacey as Gerty the Computer). 

'Moon' is a story set in the future.  To solve our energy crisis, we figured out a way to harvest power from the Moon.  But someone has to be up there to monitor the equipment.  Sam has signed a 3 year contract with the company.  He has been living on the moon, his only companion a computer called "Gerty".  He has 2 weeks left before he can return home.  But something is not quite right....

And I'll stop there.  If all of the reviews of 'Moon' seem vague to you, it's for a reason.  No one wants to say too much and spoil any part of this movie.

I thought Sam Rockwell did a great job considering he was all on his own.  He's come a long way from 'Guy' (Galaxy Quest).  

I'm not so sure about the re-watchability of this movie though.  I don't think I would view it a second time, but the first time through was interesting and it drew you in.  But after it was over, it was over and that was that.  

A movie based on a book which was based on a blog inspired by Julia Child's life in France.  

Starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams.

The first sentence sums up why this was probably not the best idea for a screen adaptation.  The second sentence sums up why it succeeds at being entertaining at all.

'Julie & Julia' is a sweet little story that juxtaposes the story of Julia Child finding herself in France and Julie Powell, a NYC resident trying to find herself after a rough year.  Not really full of action, adventure, or drama - the movie is very watchable because of the amazing casting.  Meryl Streep steals the show as Julia Child.  Stanley Tucci's portrayal of her husband is endearing.  I have a soft spot for the adorable Amy Adams who plays Julie Powell.  

It's a cute movie, what more can be said.  It's a little over 2 hours long, and by the end you're starting to feel it.  But there are worse ways to spend an evening, and if you've got a supply of munchies ready to go, you'll probably have a good time with these two ladies. 

High school.  Remember when it was a mystery?  When you viewed it from afar, thinking that when you were finally that age, life must be easier?  Then remember actually getting there and being more confused then ever?

Carter has the same experience.  He is convinced that when he becomes a freshman, life will be simpler.  But, instead, he experiences a high school life that we are all familiar with.  Brent Crawford's writing is full of humor and heart.  I really identified with Carter and his level of clueless-ness.  

Warning: if you can't handle being inside a 15 year old boy's brain, don't pick up this book.  Carter is a nice guy but his mind is on two things all the time - do I look cool? and SEX!  So when he goes on a date with a girl for the first time and eats a giant burrito...well, you can guess where some of the humor will come from.

If you want a book that you will laugh out loud while reading (seriously, I got a dirty look from my cat from giggling in bed) but is also realistic and honest in it's portrayal of High School and all of its ridiculous politics, pick up "Carter Finally Gets It".  

Five suicidal teens set out on a road trip.  The plan is to visit the graves of celebrity suicides and pay their respects.  The pact is to finish their trip at Death Valley and end their lives there.

That is the premise of "Crash Into Me".  Owen met the four other teens in a suicide chat room and they devised this road trip as a way to escape the lives they have come to hate.  Of course, when they leave behind everything, they free themselves of some of the stress that is causing these suicidal thoughts.  

Albert Borris does a good job of portraying Owen's confusion and frustration with himself and the world.  Tragic events have led Owen to this decision, though they are not made perfectly clear until the end of the book.  But it is easy to see how someone could convince themselves they have nothing to live for when they have no idea what is out there...which is kind of the point of the book.  

This will appeal to any reader who likes realistic, angsty tales that put you in the front row, along the lines of Ellen Hopkins or 'Living Dead Girl'.  The ending reminded me of an 80s movie, with everything wrapped up a little too neatly after the messy trip that was the story but I can't think of any other way to end it without making it completely depressing.

Solid 3 stars.  

Before I begin this "movie thoughts" post, I must say a few things:

1.  I <3 the Raimi boys.  I've been a fan of the Evil Dead films since I was in high school.  My brother and I watched them a LOT.  We loved that weird, twisted sense of humor mixed with wacky horror.

2. I'm a wuss.  I don't really like scary movies.  I don't like to watch people get murdered horribly.  Not my thing.  When I do attempt to watch movies like that, I end up up all night, listening to the "axe murderer" I hear sneaking around my apartment. 

Okay, now that we got that out of the way:

"Drag Me To Hell" is the most hilarious horror movie I've seen since "Evil Dead 2".  As my friend Damian described it, you spend most of the film going "AAAH! *blink blink* HAHAHAHA!".  Sam & Ivan Raimi didn't set out to change the face of horror movies.  Instead, they stuck with what they new - spooky mixed with silly - and "Drag Me To Hell" is a great 90 minute gasp/guffaw fest.

Christine Brown just wants to get some respect.  She wants to get the promotion at her job.  She wants to impress her long-term boyfriend (played by Justin "I'm a Mac!" Long) and his parents.  She wants to leave behind her farm roots and be something more.  So when an old woman comes into the bank begging for a third extension on her mortgage, Christine decides that she will show how tough she can be and denies the woman the loan.  Unfortunately, this woman turns out to be a gypsy.  She curses Christine - in 3 days, she will be DRAGGED INTO HELL!

There are just as many "gotcha" moments in this movie as there are Looney Tunes moments.  If you have a friend (like me) who is a wuss and doesn't like realistic gore/realistic violence/slasher flicks but you want to watch something a little creepy, this is a good one to try. 

It's actually really "clean" too.  I mean, there is very little swearing, no big sex scene - it's just ridiculous scare gag after gag. 

The great thing about this movie is how much it reminds me of the low-budget horror that was evil dead. Before studio started pumping money into this genre and realistic CGI effects took over, a bunch of rattling windows and eerie shadows were enough to give you goosebumps.  When I finished the film, I felt entertained, but not so upset I couldn't go to bed. 

Yeah it's cheesy.  But I've decided that I like my horror with a helping of cheese.  I'm sure the hardcore horror fans are laughing at me, but that's fine.  Hardcore horror is not my thing.  Give me a goofy Raimi Bros. flick any day!

My only complaint was the lack of Bruce Campbell cameo - but I guess he was shooting Burn Notice. 

3.5 out of 5 stars

Legend of the Seeker is the show that Sam Raimi was born to make. 

I remember watching Hercules and Xena with my parents, and I liked them well enough.  There was a high cheese factor and I was never sucked into them as much as other shows, but they were fun.  I've always had a soft spot of the Evil Dead movies, with their mix of horror and goofiness.  And, of course, the action and adventure of the first Spider-man film is hard to deny. 

Legend of the Seeker takes all of those elements that Raimi is so good at directing and mixes them together in a story of high-fantasy.  If you ever watched "Lord of the Rings" and wished you could hang out in a magical world for longer than the 9 hours that all 3 movies run...well, you can now join the Seeker.

I'll should probably mention that I have not read any of Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series.  I've never been able to read fantasy novels because the world building usually bores me to tears (though sometimes the movies will encourage me to read the books).  I like a lot of action and adventure and I want it NOW.  That's why Seeker is so great for me.  It has the action sequences of Hercules and Xena, the evolving plot of Spiderman and sometimes even the creepiness of Evil Dead.  Yes, sometimes it feels like half the stuff out of their mouths is "exposition exposition exposition" but I'd rather get it from episode to episode than all at once.

Some might say it is derivative of other fantasy stories.  To that I say - what isn't?  Seriously, everything is a take on the Arthurian/Tolkien/Lucas mythos that we all know and love.  At least, the good ones.  Seeker takes the classic fantasy story of the chosen hero and the evil villian and creates a very polished story. 

For those not familiar with the specifics - Richard Cypher is a normal farm boy out in the woods and he runs into a mysterious woman in white being attacked by soldiers.  Being all noble and such, he jumps into the fight to protect her.  What he doesn't know is she doesn't need his protection - she has her own magical powers.  She is a Confessor and has the power to suck away a persons free will and make them do her bidding.  Together they escape the guards and she tells him she's looking for the Seeker.  They go to visit the crazy old man in town who turns out to be (surprise!) a Wizard!   He rescued Richard back when a prophecy said he would grow up to kill the Evil Bad Guy Darken Rhal.  Now Richard must journey back to his home land and defeat Darken Rhal with the Sword of Truth.  (Seriously, if Rhal turns out to be Richard's father/brother/cousin/college roommate - I would not be surprised and I'd still love the show).

See?  He's Luke!  He's Arthur!  He's wandering around like Aragorn, hanging out with a Gandalfian Wizard (complete with kooky sense of humor). 

One of the things I really like about the show is Kahlan, the female lead, played by Bridget Regan.  Kahlan, the Confessor, is a very strong character.  Yes, there is a love story involved with her and Richard, but she is more than just his girlfriend.  When she ventures off into battle, you know she can take care of herself.  Usually she is the one saving Richard or coaching him on how to be a better Seeker.  It's nice to see a non-damsel in fantasy.  I get chills when she goes into battle with her twin daggers, her gorgeous dress twirling as she jumps and stabs a guy.  Awesome. 

I don't know why Jay La'gaia is on the poster - he's only in a few episodes.  Zed, the Wizard, should be on there but I guess he wasn't pretty enough. 

I am very impressed with this show.  It starts off slow, but after they get their footing and establish the characters a bit, it really gets going.  The stories are clever, the characters are likable, the battle scenes are awesome.  I'm only halfway through Season 1 and I was just so impressed I had to write this up.

and season 2 premieres next week. :D

It's very rare that I pick up an adult book, but I had heard rumblings about this book for awhile so I decided to give it a try.  All of the print copies were checked out of the library at the time, but the audiobook was available, so I took that.

I'm so glad I did.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson is an involved mystery with a huge cast of characters.  The two main characters are Mikael Blomkvist - a journalist who has been found guilty of libel against a multimillionaire - and Lisbeth Salander - a slightly unstable young woman with a knack for finding information, even if it means breaking a few laws.  We spend about half of the book waiting to see what twist of fate will bring these two people together.  And once they team up, we spend the rest of the book wondering how they will solve this 40 year old crime.

I'll re-emphasize that this is an adult novel.  It's complex and has some very disturbing scenes and themes (let me put it this way - the original title in Swedish translates to "Men Who Hate Women").  The book is well written.  The characters full formed.  The story engrossing. 

Simon Vance reads the audiobook and I was blown away by his performance.  This book has a cast of probably 20 some characters and Vance manages to give them all their own unique voice.  Blomkvist sounds like a British Sam Spade; Lisbeth manages to sound like a girl and a bad ass at the same time; Henrik Vanger sounds like Richard Harris...I never found myself confused about who was speaking and my mind never wandered as I was sucked into this story of a reporter, a rich family, a delinquent woman, and a missing girl. 

5 out of 5 for the audiobook version - Fantastic story, AMAZING performance.