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Mar. 1st, 2003
i swear i really didn't know
Mar. 1st, 2003 11:49 pmso I'm sorry......so sorry
Howie's video is up at mtv.com and I got an e-mail from Shawn asking the reps to go vote. I watched it and it's nothing special but i still gave it a vote. Made me realize how much I miss howie. He needs to tour again here. Sure, I'm still a bit miffed at him for ditching the fans after the WRNR show. But it's been since October since my last howie show. October. I used to average 1 show a month. Plus I'm curious to see if he still recognizes me at all. Or cares.
Not that I seek a lot of outside approval, but there is that bit of a thrill of being recognized by someone you admire. Or even not. Amanda and I went in to Barnes and Nobles to kill time yesterday and I was checking out the new CD rack and picked up the Alison Kraus live CD and this guy started talking to me about it. We ended up talking for 30 minutes. It was really cool. I mean, total stranger chatting about music. And I got this thrill of pride when he asked about the John Mayer CD and in my head I'm like "I've met him!!". haha. Anyway, I think it weirded out Amanda that I was talking to that guy for so long haha. All she said was "weird." haha.
We watched Minority Report tonight. my dad has reached a new level of annoying. I mean, we already had the huge fight for the month it seems. So now it's like this lovely tension of waiting for the next big explosion. He started smoking again and it's just disgusting. And not just like one cigarette or two, but during the movie he must have done like 6 or 8. So now my clothes smell horrible and my eyes sting. I feel so horrible cuz I'm just waiting for him to get sick so maybe he'll cut this crap out. But he's not gonna. He's already on asthma type medication and that's not stopping him. I just need to move out. I want to move out. I'd like to move out. Then again, when my mom and I were talking during the last big family fight, she said to me that I was her and Vincent's only friend. Which of course, makes it ten times harder for me to leave. But that's not right. I mean, why am I there only friend?? It's ridiculous. I can just feel this whole guilt trip coming when I finally make a move for the door.
My birthday is tuesday. I'll be 22. Doesn't feel like a year has gone by. Definitley doesn't feel like 22 years have gone by. I don't really know what to do about it being my birthday. I have to pick a topic for my AMST paper by wednesday so my brain will probably be there. I need to read 2 books too.
Adrian typed up a big thing about the war in his livejournal today. Being an American Studies major, pretty much our entire department is against the war. Personally, I just feel so hopeless when in the year 2003 we can't find a better solution to something except to kill each other. Dr Belasco sends us anti-war articles pretty much everyday. It's just aggravating that so many people are opposed to this war yet our government likes to pretend they don't exist. It would be nice if we could just be aknowledged, even if Bush just gave us the finger after his next speech, at least I'd knew he had listened. And now the whole thing with the education budget being screwed up and so much money going towards this war...I'm trying to figure out my future but then there's this chance there maybe no future, so I need to concern myself with the big picture but I'm trying to get things together in my personal life...and if I felt sure that this whole war was really about finding peace vs. just making sure we can get oil then I'd feel better. I probably wouldn't be so against the whole thing if it wasn't for the righteous attitude our government seems to have adopted. It's embarassing.
I'm really really tired. Gotta work tomorrow 1-5. And I should read tomorrow too. And write my paper. But knowing me I'll just watch Simpsons. Perhaps go buy some video games (target has buy 2 get 1 free). But we'll see.
goodnight children everywhere.
Howie's video is up at mtv.com and I got an e-mail from Shawn asking the reps to go vote. I watched it and it's nothing special but i still gave it a vote. Made me realize how much I miss howie. He needs to tour again here. Sure, I'm still a bit miffed at him for ditching the fans after the WRNR show. But it's been since October since my last howie show. October. I used to average 1 show a month. Plus I'm curious to see if he still recognizes me at all. Or cares.
Not that I seek a lot of outside approval, but there is that bit of a thrill of being recognized by someone you admire. Or even not. Amanda and I went in to Barnes and Nobles to kill time yesterday and I was checking out the new CD rack and picked up the Alison Kraus live CD and this guy started talking to me about it. We ended up talking for 30 minutes. It was really cool. I mean, total stranger chatting about music. And I got this thrill of pride when he asked about the John Mayer CD and in my head I'm like "I've met him!!". haha. Anyway, I think it weirded out Amanda that I was talking to that guy for so long haha. All she said was "weird." haha.
We watched Minority Report tonight. my dad has reached a new level of annoying. I mean, we already had the huge fight for the month it seems. So now it's like this lovely tension of waiting for the next big explosion. He started smoking again and it's just disgusting. And not just like one cigarette or two, but during the movie he must have done like 6 or 8. So now my clothes smell horrible and my eyes sting. I feel so horrible cuz I'm just waiting for him to get sick so maybe he'll cut this crap out. But he's not gonna. He's already on asthma type medication and that's not stopping him. I just need to move out. I want to move out. I'd like to move out. Then again, when my mom and I were talking during the last big family fight, she said to me that I was her and Vincent's only friend. Which of course, makes it ten times harder for me to leave. But that's not right. I mean, why am I there only friend?? It's ridiculous. I can just feel this whole guilt trip coming when I finally make a move for the door.
My birthday is tuesday. I'll be 22. Doesn't feel like a year has gone by. Definitley doesn't feel like 22 years have gone by. I don't really know what to do about it being my birthday. I have to pick a topic for my AMST paper by wednesday so my brain will probably be there. I need to read 2 books too.
Adrian typed up a big thing about the war in his livejournal today. Being an American Studies major, pretty much our entire department is against the war. Personally, I just feel so hopeless when in the year 2003 we can't find a better solution to something except to kill each other. Dr Belasco sends us anti-war articles pretty much everyday. It's just aggravating that so many people are opposed to this war yet our government likes to pretend they don't exist. It would be nice if we could just be aknowledged, even if Bush just gave us the finger after his next speech, at least I'd knew he had listened. And now the whole thing with the education budget being screwed up and so much money going towards this war...I'm trying to figure out my future but then there's this chance there maybe no future, so I need to concern myself with the big picture but I'm trying to get things together in my personal life...and if I felt sure that this whole war was really about finding peace vs. just making sure we can get oil then I'd feel better. I probably wouldn't be so against the whole thing if it wasn't for the righteous attitude our government seems to have adopted. It's embarassing.
I'm really really tired. Gotta work tomorrow 1-5. And I should read tomorrow too. And write my paper. But knowing me I'll just watch Simpsons. Perhaps go buy some video games (target has buy 2 get 1 free). But we'll see.
goodnight children everywhere.