movie thoughts: Twilight (2008)

[orangerful]

Twilight [Theatrical Release]

I need to say this first: I am not a fan of Twilight.  I couldn't even finish the first book and I only know what happens in the other three from talking to my friend Amy and reading Cleolinda's hilarious summaries.  I can't stand Bella, I felt that Edward was not attractive at all, and that it had all been done better in Buffy.

That being said, the movie totally lives up to the book. 

First red flag - a narrator.  I remember reading a book on screenwriting and the guy said you should never EVER have a narrator, that this was usually a sign of lazy writing and most of the time the things being said would work better shown.  So...yeah, Bella starts off the movie in voiceover mode.

Bella Swann moves to Forks, WA and OMG IT SUCKS. Everyone is so pasty (so the vamps can blend in a bit better, except for Carlisle who still looks WHITE), and nice to her (I don't remember everyone being so nice to her in the book) and she wants to be with her mommy (who is, at least, a presence in the movie more than I felt she was in the book).  That is, until she sees Edward.  Because he's not just pasty, he's also dazzling. 

Okay, I can't do it anymore, the snark is too easy - you probably know the story and if not, click on the link .  I will say that I was ready to watch a movie starring Alice and Jasper because they seemed far more interesting than Bella and Edward.  Robert Pattison's hair had a co-starring role in the film and clearly weighed heavily on his forehead because he spends the entire movie with his brow furrowed, looking like he has a massive headache (though if Bella was your "girlfriend", you probably would to).  I guess Kristen Stewart was fine as Bella, because Bella is pretty much worthless and Kristen seemed to be okay with that (though she doesn't seem to be able to close her mouth all the way and she bites her lip waaaaay too much). 

I think one of the biggest mistakes the writers made was actually giving Bella friends.  In the book, she doesn't really make a connection with anyone in the school and that bothered me because she had no human friends to talk to.  But in the movie, they make everyone in the school really nice and they want to get to know her and be friends with her but she's just too good for them.  And once her and Edward are together, she comes off as "I'm so much cooler because I have a boyfriend - I don't need you lame meatbags". 

And you don't realize how lame Stephenie Meyer's vampires are unil the fight sequence at the end.  They have no fangs, they have relfections, they can go out in sunlight -- honestly, they are not even vampires.  She should have named them something else.  When Edward and James are hissing at each other like cats, its more comical than intense.  And when Edward wants to show Bella his true face, I was ready for something a bit weird, but he just sorta looked...moist.  "You're Beautiful".  Oh yeah, that's real tought to say when he's shimmering like diamonds (and not, say, getting a big bumpy face with fangs).

Look, I'm a HUGE Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan and it's hard to read/watch Twilight without thinking of Buffy/Angel.  And now I'm watching the relationship between Sookie and Bill evolve on True Blood.  Both of these pwn the characters on Twilight.  Because Buffy and Sookie are real people, with hobbies, friends, jobs - they are fully formed characters before they get caught up with the bloodsuckers.

Originally posted on orangerful.vox.com

Comments

[anakinfancheryl.livejournal.com]

Maybe I liked Twilight better, because I've never been a Buffy/Angel fan. That's not to say that I wouldn't like it, but I've never even seen one minute of an episode.

I agree, by far, Sookie is one of my most favorite characters. She is VERY strong, and has her own ideas about things. I DO like the books WAAAAY more than the show, but I like it too.

I really like the "House of Night" series too with Zoey Redbird. Another twist on vampires.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

The thing is that Twilight, at its core, is just a romance story that happens to have a vampire in it, and not a vampire story with a bit of romance tossed in. I've decided I prefer the latter so I have very little patience for the "OMGILUVHIMSOMUCHIWANTTODIE" that Bella goes through.

I just started reading Dead Until Dark last week and I'm really liking her writing style. So the TV show is not that close to the book? My boyfriend started watching the tv show and now I'm hooked but I missed a lot of the earlier ones that would have taken place during the bits of the book I am reading. I'm avoiding the True Blood LJ comms because of spoilers, but I did notice a lost of my Flisters stopped posting about the show after the first few episodes. Tell me more! (but no spoilers)

I will add House of Night to my Good Reads list. Is it a really mature novel or could I give it to a teen looking for a fix after they finish breaking dawn?

[anakinfancheryl.livejournal.com]

Here's the thing about True Blood. In the last 4 episodes the killer is the same, but they change Bill's storyline.

Also, Tara is TOTALLY different. Different job, different story, different person.

Jason has his own storyline that is NOTHING like the book. It has been entertaining, but is nothing like his actual character.

House of Night series is a bit more mature than Breaking Dawn, but still a teen read. The characters are real, along with real situations. They are vampires that life happens to. In this world, not all folks are vampires. It's kind of like True Blood, that it's a virus, although in House of Night, not everyone survives the full change. The goddess Nyx plays a huge role in the series too. I think you would like this series much better than the Twilight series. So far the books are:

Marked
Betrayed
Chosen
Untamed
Hunted

Another is supposed to be out in the spring.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

interesting. Are a lot of fans upset about the changes? I'm sort of happy they changed it because now I can read the books and watch the show and not spoil myself either way. :)

I recognize the books covers, we have those in my library shelved in Young Adult. I'll keep them in mind. Have you read Peeps by Scott Westerfeld (or the sequel The Last Day)? Another take of vampire as virus - in fact, in Peeps vampirism is totally a metaphor for AIDS. I liked them a lot, especially last days.

[anakinfancheryl.livejournal.com]

I think they were at first, but the idea seems to be growing on them. I kind of look at them as two separate things, so I'm good with it. Tomorrow night is the season finale. It will be back this summer.

Oh yes!! I LOVE Peeps! Scott Westerfield is the best. I haven't read The Last Day yet. Scott Westerfield is hysterical in person too.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

I knew we were down to the last episode. Glad to hear that they plan to bring it back next year!

I read Westerfeld's blog, he cracks me up. I'm hoping one day he'll come down to the Maryland area. His books are what got me into Young Adult Lit.

[admackbar.livejournal.com]

Nice review. I have pretty much already decided I am not going to see it. But after reading your review it adds more reasons for me not to see it. I don't think there is a chance in a million years I would like this at all. I just sit there annoyed the whole time. I guess I am just to old school vampire. But when I read online Vampire / Sunlight and sparkle in the same sentence I shuddered in fear.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

yeah, I would not bother, unless you happen to turn into a 14 year old girl overnight ;-)

[ekaterin24.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the review! I had no plans to see the movie, and now I know to not even watch a few minutes if it happens to be showing on cable next year as my husband's channel surfing.

I agree with your observation about the story being "romance, with bits about vampires." My take on the entire series is that it's a multinovel original "Mary-Sue" romantic fantasy. The movie sounds even more so.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

You hit the nail on the head. Everything I didn't like about the book was still there in the movie. I was kind of hoping the screenwriter would work on the kinks but I suppose they felt the need to be "faithful" to the book.

[dstntp1lgr1m.livejournal.com]

I'm on the 4th book right now. Yeah, Bella unnerves me a bit. The book series is very melodramatic and seldom has any real plot at all.

I will say, the issue and Bella and her friends is slightly different in the book than the movie. I felt the movie made the other students more annoying, whereas in the book they seemed to just be in awe of the fact that a new person showed up to their school. I can relate to that feeling. I've been a new guy in school a few times.

Essentially, the movie felt very rushed, then again, why wait. Nothing goes on in the story until the last 3 chapters.

I hate Jacob Black, so I'm glad they picked someone ugly to play him in the movie so I can continue to hate him even more. lol

As for the other show, True Blood. I saw an episode the other night and I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe because it was Buffy fans who told me to check it out. That I would love it. I don't. It's not Buffy. No quirks. -sigh- And it looks like Dollshouse won't do too well either. lol

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

I tried to watch True Blood from the start and the first episode reeked of HBO (SEXSEXSEX) but after about the third or fourth, I really got sucked in (no pun intended). I'm really enjoying the first book too.

I'm worried about Dollhouse just because of all the rewrites and stuff they've had. But I won't give up!!! Friday nights, my DVR will be taping no matter what!

[dstntp1lgr1m.livejournal.com]

:)

I actually saw one of the much later episodes of True Blood, but whatever. PS3 is my addiction right now. lol

[heiland-coo.livejournal.com]

Whew ;)