TBT: Betterman, Pearl Jam, and one of those "growing up" moments

[orangerful]

I don't usually do Throwback Thursday posts but this idea was in my head AND it happened to be Thursday so...here ya go:

I was driving around the other day listening to the radio (which I don't usually do, I usually have my iPod plugged in because ever since I worked in radio for a year and I can't really stand listening to it...but I was nice and lent my iPod to Tim for his 12 hour drive to Wisconsin) and this song came on.

And as soon as I heard the opening strums of the guitar, I was hit by a wave of memories.

Peal Jam and Nirvana were super big when I was in middle school. I wasn't into them at all. My musical tastes were still mostly focused on Disney soundtracks and whatever my Mom was listening to at the time (so, ya know, Phil Collins and Sting). Hearing the term "grunge", I assumed that the music would be loud and screamy and not my thing. So I kind of avoided them somehow.

But there was this really nice kid in my class, his name was Alec Miller. He *loved* these bands. He sensed my resistance and after we sat and discussed music for awhile (yeah, I'm sorta shocked that we were able to have an intelligent discussion about what we liked and disliked in music when we were only 13...). Anyway, Alec was a good listener and he returned the next week with a mix tape of hand-picked Pearl Jam songs that he thought I would like. Betterman was on that tape, I think it might have been the first song actually.

It's weird how the mind works because this song triggered this memory which lead to another memory of Alec, a memory that changed my young adult life. I can't really remember all the details, all I know is that Alec was being bullied by some other kids in the school. I think they decided that since he wore grunge style clothes, he was some kind of punk. One day, it escalated to the point where they flat out told him they were going to beat him up that day. I have a memory of Alec being a total wreck, his eyes bloodshot from crying and we convinced him to tell a teacher, that the thing you were supposed to do was tell and adult and they would fix it.

Unfortunately, the adults had the same biases based on Alec's look - he told them he had been threatened and they said nothing would happen and told him to go to class.

And then he got jumped by three guys on his way to class.

I'm not even sure I ever saw him after that. His mother yanked him out of our school and transferred him to another school. But I remember that day as the day I realized that you can just trust people in authority to do the right thing. If those teachers had taken him seriously, it could have been avoided.

So these are the things that go through my head when any of the low-key Pearl Jam songs come on the radio...

Do you have any songs with powerful memories attached to them? Write your own post or share in the comments!

Comments

[rhoda-rants.livejournal.com]

What's this Throwback Thursday business? Because I think I did that in my head today without realizing it. Listened to *lots* of early 90s Mariah Carey, which I don't think I've done since the actual early 90s. I still remember every single word to "Hero," and all the little vocal inflections she does when she sings it live.

Music is amazing, the way it can take you back to a specific time or place. I'm sorry your friend went through that, and after going to the adults they always tell you to go to. I remember vividly the first time I realized that grown-ups could be mean, or indifferent, or didn't have all the answers to the universe. It was harrowing.

I don't have a song connected to that memory though. There's nothing specific attached to Mariah Carey, not any one song, but I'm immediately ten years old again when I hear it. Just because it's been so long since I heard any of it. I was surprised by how well I still knew all those songs after all this time though.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

wait, seriously? Does your Facebook/Tumblr/Instagram/other social services not get inundated with stupid #ThrowbackThursday posts each week? (Weird AL's posts are the only ones I care about!)

OMG someone asked for Toni Braxton's new book, which is called "Unbreak My Heart"...damn song was stuck in my head for the rest of the night and I haven't heard that since the 90s! Brain stores music in some random places.

[rhoda-rants.livejournal.com]

Nah, haven't heard of it. My feeds are tailored to inundate me with news about my favorite writers, TV shows and indie film makers. Although I'm not on nearly as often as most people. . .

[kaaelyn.livejournal.com]

How awful that the teachers judged Alec like that and didn't believe him. :/ That's incredibly sad.

I have a few songs that are attached to powerful memories. On my last day in AP Biology in high school, my teacher played a slideshow of pictures from the year with The Scientist by Coldplay playing. I remember looking at my best friend and we both just had tears because of how sweet and emotional it was. A year and a half later, she passed away in a car accident. Every time I think of that song, I think of her.

I dated a guy who took me to two Goo Goo Dolls concerts and was always singing/playing their songs. He later committed suicide, but I still think of him whenever I hear a GGD song.

Um, on a lighter note, the song Handlebars by Flobots always triggers a memory with an ex-boyfriend where we cooked dinner together for the first time and talked all night. So that's a happy memory! (Kind of anyway. He was a jerk. XD)

It's amazing how powerful music can be.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm so sorry that your BFF was taken from you like that. But I'm sure you have lots of beautiful memories and moments, like the one you mentioned.

LOL yeah I have a few happy memories that are connected to my ex, I totally understand what you mean! You have to hope there are a few happy ones in the mix so you can see why you wasted time on them in the first place. :)

[geekslave.livejournal.com]

I've really only listened to probably a handful of Pearl Jam songs, and Better Man is one of them, and I love that song.

That really sucks what happened to your friend and that you had to learn such a harsh lesson.

I have lots of songs that evoke memories. I don't always think about these things when I hear the song, but every once and awhile I'll hear the song and it'll bring back certain memories. Like sometimes when I hear Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) I think about the first week after my dad died. That was my ringtone at the time.The song brought me some comfort and I would let the phone ring for longer than necessary to hear the song play.

With Toni Basil's "Mickey" it's more the video than the actual song that brings back memories. It kind of encapsulates for me so much of my childhood when I was really young and was living in New York. My sister used to play the video constantly and my brother and I would sing along. It remind me of a happier time when we were much closer.

Stacey

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

Those are both sweet little stories, thanks for sharing them. Those songs that connect us to a more carefree time in our youth can be some of the hardest to go back to, I find. I've only recently been able to bring myself to listen to Dave Matthews Band again because the memories of my ex were so tightly knit to those songs. But, you gotta take the good memories and hold them, even if what came after wasn't quite as good.

Thank you again for sharing your stories. :)

[geekslave.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

But, you gotta take the good memories and hold them, even if what came after wasn't quite as good.

Definitely.

Stacey

[howlin-wolf-66.livejournal.com]

Love "Better Man"! I'm sorry it's associated with kinda an ambivalent memory, for you!

That's basically what my EHT series is meant to be all about... It works better for some artists than others, though... The last personal memory to be associated with a song was this entry, I think:

http://howlin-wolf-66.livejournal.com/480345.html#comments

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

I have a hard time being a fan of someone who turns out to be a total ass. I used to be a huge John Mayer fan, the man has some talent...but geez did he turn out to be a total moron. And now I can't even bring myself to listen to his new stuff because I'm so annoyed by his real life personality. I've stopped being fans of many artists for similar reasons. I mean, obviously to be a performer of any kind, you have to like yourself a bit, to have that confidence to go out there, but they don't need to be dicks about it, yeah?

[howlin-wolf-66.livejournal.com]

There's definitely no need to be a dick, but fortunately I still find it relatively easy to separate the art from the artist.

[elizalavelle.livejournal.com]

Ugh some people should not teach. There's a fine line between getting involved in ever dispute that kids have and not being involved enough but if a kid asks for help a teacher should do something.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

I remember it was the assistant principal or someone that should have known better. It's awful, but I try to remember that when I'm helping our teen patrons in the library - to make sure I don't try to judge them based on their style or self expression but by how they handle themselves when talking to me.

[elizalavelle.livejournal.com]

Honestly I've found many administrators to be really not good at dealing with student issues. I had one in junior high who was my home room teacher who was just horrid. I was in trouble with her all of the time but she always thought I was just being led astray by others because I wore glasses and therefore couldn't be the instigator... o.O

I also usually was instigating because she was incompetent so she brought that on herself.

I think that being in a classroom at least gives teachers more insight into the students where it's easier to be out of touch if you mainly work in the office. You can be an awesome administrator but you have to make the effort to stay in touch.

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

Hectic memory. And you're right about people in authority; I being increasingly distrustful of authority in general.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, doesn't matter if it's a person at the top of the political tower or the head of the sanitation department. I really am impressed when people with power know how to balance it with life.

Hopefully Alec is out there somewhere, getting some positive vibes from this.

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, doesn't matter if it's a person at the top of the political tower or the head of the sanitation department.

Along which lines, have you seen this? Seems legit (Lawrence Lessig having started created commons et, pretty respectable and influential).

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

Public Library, of course! I've seen many people who used to be level headed and fair get promotions and seem to just go crazy. We joke about people "drinking the kool-aid" when they get to our system headquarters but it seems so true!

[twissie.livejournal.com]

Hah - I like how a grunge kid ended up giving you a life lesson on authority. That's actually pretty poetic. I like it. A lot.

Very sad about that kid, though. I hope things turned out OK for him. Why is it always the victim that has to move? It's not right :(

Songs that trigger powerful memories .... you know, I can't actually think of anything right now - but I know there are moments when I hear songs I haven't listened to in ages, where I'll just go into full nostalgia mode. Music is pretty magical that way.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

It would make a good book, wouldn't it? I hope that where ever he ended up, he's getting some positive vibes from this post and conversation existing. He seemed like a good person all around.

[adam-0oo.livejournal.com]

Betterman written as one word looks like Butterman.

Just, you know, fyi.

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

mmmmmmm butterman...yeah, that post would be COMPLETELY different from this one. Much happier and more fattening...but so delicious...mmmmmmm

[merilune.livejournal.com]

I like Pearl Jam and that song is really awesome. I can't say I'm surprised at how Alec was treated by adults because of how he looked... There was a lot of teacher prejudice with my group of friends in school and especially one friend in particular who struggled with ADHD... teachers were really hard on him. He stuck it to everyone who doubted him by leaving school and doing a building apprenticeship, he ended up building his own house, he's married now with a kid and he's recently finished a baking apprenticeship so he's a baker :) He's only 23 too!

One of my biggest song memories is "We're in this together" by Nine Inch Nails. I struggled through my nursing training and every morning on the way to one of the most difficult clinical placements I listened to that song. I'm no longer a nurse but I still love that song ;)

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

Well that is a fantastic story to read! Good for him! It's the kind of story that should be spread around so people know they have options. Though I'm sure it took a LOT of courage to leave school and start out on his own like that.

HAHA I used to study to Bela Fleck music in college...and now I can't STAND listening to him. It makes me TENSE and tired haha. I don't think Trent Reznor would let that happen to him though, glad he can still rock out with you.

[mousewings.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry about your friend. Really sad all around.

I hope wherever he is, he's doing alright today.